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Has the world gone mad?
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Maggie AAR



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 2506

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:42 pm    Post subject: Has the world gone mad? Reply with quote

First people were being jailed over library fines. Now there's this:

89-year-old charged with keeping kids' ball
2 hrs 33 mins ago

BLUE ASH, Ohio Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

Edna Jester was arrested last week in the Cincinnati suburb of Blue Ash.

Police say one child's father complained that Jester kept the youngsters' ball after it landed in her yard. Police Capt. James Schaffer says there has been an ongoing dispute in the neighborhood over kids' balls landing in the woman's yard.

Jester said Monday she has received many calls and didn't have time to discuss the matter any more.

Jester is to appear in court next month. The maximum penalty for a petty theft conviction in Ohio is six months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

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Tee



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 4225
Location: Detroit Metro

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Has the world gone mad, maggie? Probably. But then, there's a lack of respect on each ends of this problem in the world today. Kids don't think, because many aren't being taught, how their actions affect other people and their properties as we once were taught. We weren't allowed on the neighbors' yards because it would have been disrespectful to trounce all over their yards. On the other hand, many older folks don't bother with the young kids anymore, as I fondly remember some older people did in our days. That's sad.

Last edited by Tee on Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Maggie AAR



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 2506

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When my neighbor boy broke my rear view mirror and came over to tell me about it I let him completely off the hook and thanked him for letting me know. The kid had made a mistake and even though it cost a hundred or so to fix he was honest and upfront about it and I appreciated that a whole lot more than the hundred I spent. OTH, I have a neighbor who was convinced he broke a five dollar bird on her bird bath and didn't quit griping about it till it was finally proven that a gang of thieves using her yard as an escape route had run into the bird bath and broken the ornamental bird on it. So I guess we all feel differently about our property.Laughing

In this case, I think what bothered me most was the use of the police in this instance. A football that I would be surprised to hear cost more than $40.00 was "policed" to the tune of probably several hundred. If the mother of the child did not have the good sense to either buy the kid a new ball or tell him that the tough lesson in all this is that he needs to keep his sports equipment on his own property or lose it, the police operator should have. That they instead drove out to ask the neighbor to return the ball and then arrested her when she refused strikes me as completely ludicrous. Of course the gracious thing would be for the elderly neighbor to return the ball. But apparently the elderly lady has asked them not to play near her house, they constantly do and they consistently kick, bounce or throw balls into it. If the parents feel their yard isn't large enough they need to send the kids to a park or move to a house that has a yard that is large enough. The solution is not to use their neighbors lawn to make up the difference. I just can't imagine the inconvenience it was to this poor old woman to be arrested and dragged to the police station over a minor dispute with a neighbor like this.

Just my own .02 of course.

maggie b.
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Margaret



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 883

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
If the mother of the child did not have the good sense to either buy the kid a new ball or tell him that the tough lesson in all this is that he needs to keep his sports equipment on his own property or lose it, the police operator should have.




I agree, Maggie. If this was a one time thing perhaps the older woman could have cut them some slack...but to have it keep happening is disrespectful to her. And the parents just reinforced their bad behaviour.
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6635
Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tee wrote:
. But then, On the other hand, many older folks don't bother with the young kids anymore, as I fondly remember some older people did in our days. That's sad.



Well, I think that is due to the fact that the parents of the children haven't taught the children to respect older people. So many in my generation lack respect of older people and are just generally...rude in many ways. Being civil and respectful to others seems to have gone out the window. It's sad, but true. If this situation happened to me when I wa s that age, the lady would just keep the ball..that was that...or we could politely go ask for it back promising her we wouldn't play in her yard anymore. Today, it's all about entitlement. An elderly woman deserves more respect than that.
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Tee



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 4225
Location: Detroit Metro

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

xina wrote:
Well, I think that is due to the fact that the parents of the children haven't taught the children to respect older people.

Yes, xina, that's also part of what I tried to say in my earlier post. The kids aren't being taught, as most of us were, that other people, regardless of age, deserve respect, as well as their properties and possessions. It's a double-edged sword these days, sometimes. On our block, we have both the elderly and some young families with children. Many of the young people are respectful, but there are always those few. As far as the elderly, most of them show patience to the kids, but not all. There always seem to be the few that match the personality of the "grump."

But by and large, I feel our society has lost the manners that were once so prevalent. That's something that should never have gone out of style.
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dick



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 2510

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm more puzzled how the authorities determined the woman had committed theft by keeping something tossed into her yard. I'm constantly picking up cans, bottles, food wrappers, and pitching them. Is that petty theft, I wonder?
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Margaret



Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 883

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
dick wrote:
I'm more puzzled how the authorities determined the woman had committed theft by keeping something tossed into her yard. I'm constantly picking up cans, bottles, food wrappers, and pitching them. Is that petty theft, I wonder?


Do the right thing, Dick...turn yourself in. Very Happy
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6635
Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

As far as the elderly, most of them show patience to the kids, but not all. There always seem to be the few that match the personality of the "grump."

But by and large, I feel our society has lost the manners that were once so prevalent. That's something that should never have gone out of style.




Well, there will always be the grumpy old lady or man. They certainly existed when I was a child. In fact, my own grandmother was pretty grumpy herself. I certainly hope I will not be that way. On some days, I can feel the grumpiness building! Laughing As for our neighborhood, the kids are mostly respectful of each other's property and all. Although, this is the first year in about 5 I have been able to put out pumpkins again. The boy that smashed various pumpkins went off to college. Yes...he smashed pumpkins until he was over 18...we were all glad to see him leave. I think at one point he had a crush on my daughter and she didn't want to have anything to do with ....so, our pumpkins were probably the first to be smashed. I never reported to his parents although I think some did. They thought he was the perfect angel.
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Charlotte McClain



Joined: 04 Oct 2008
Posts: 400
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

xina wrote:

I never reported to his parents although I think some did. They thought he was the perfect angel.


I think that's most of the problem. So many parents, instead of trying to decide if their kid was doing something wrong or not, jump to their defense. The kids then assume that no matter what they do, it's right and mom and dad will defend them. That'll be fun when the kid goes out and does something really wrong. "But Mom, Dad, that bank had money and I needed it."
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desiderata



Joined: 23 Oct 2007
Posts: 226

PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A rather telling pumpkin story: some years back our neighborhood was struck by a pumkin smasher. Our kids were really young and upset, so I replaced the pumpkins. One day around dusk my dh was coming home from a run when he saw two boys stop in front of our house and bend down to pick up our pumpkins. He sped up and yelled at them, they took off running, he gave chase, and after running through the neighborhood and not being able to lose him (being a triathlete has its advantages!) they ran through a backyard and into a house via the backdoor. Dh went around to the front door, rang the bell, and mom answered. He told her what happened, and the boys denied it ... standing there sweaty and out of breath. She told my dh he was lying -- her son wouldn't do something like that, and he certainly wouldn't lie to her!

So, yea -- it's the lack of parenting. I'm amazed things aren't worse than they are. This particular kid grew up, got a car as soon as he turned 16, hit a parked car, drove off, put his car away in their garage to hide it from the police, and didn't consider that his car, damaged from the accident, was leaking gas. Gas plus the pilot light to the water heater led to an explosion which almost burned the house down. I wonder who the mom blamed for that one.
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KathieO



Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 69
Location: Alaska

PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been both laughing (Margaret - I busted out at your comment to dick - HA! Great comedic timing there) and shaking my head over the parenting issues. Some things just don't change. As the mother of three boys (men), when they were growing up I loved them to pieces, but absolutely would have had them fessing up if one of the neighbors chased them home after a prank like desiderata described. Why do parents have such a hard time both loving their children, and realizing they are still children (i.e. they will lie, steal (hopefully just once until they get that lesson), back talk other adults, etc.)? That's why we are parenting them! It's a long growing up process of learning, which hopefully has seeped in when they are turned out into the world.

My brother and his wife always talk the talk about raising their (completely out of control three year old), but never actually carry through the discipline (in any form!). He will definitely have trouble with "consequences" when he grows up. When they visit, I completely take over his supervision (in self-defense of my home and property), and he turns right around and is a great kid. HIS PARENTS are the problem with his manners - They don't take the time to actually parent him!
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KathieO



Joined: 12 Aug 2008
Posts: 69
Location: Alaska

PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tee wrote:
Has the world gone mad, maggie? Probably. But then, there's a lack of respect on each ends of this problem in the world today. Kids don't think, because many aren't being taught, how their actions affect other people and their properties as we once were taught. We weren't allowed on the neighbors' yards because it would have been disrespectful to trounce all over their yards.


I agree totally Tee! Key word there is "taught." When you become a parent, you are essentially dedicating a good portion of your life to a "cause" (your child's well-being), that you CAN'T give up on. So many people go into it without understanding the dedication and time it's going to require. They get tired out easily by how much tenacity it takes, and just choose not to see what their children do because it's easier than dealing with it. And if I hear one more parent say they are their child's (not adult child's) "best friend," I think I'll scream! Your child's "friends" do not tell them what to do (clean your room; no you can't go to that movie; that's not appropriate for your age, etc.). Your children don't need another "friend," but they certainly need a loving "parent" in you.
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Tee



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 4225
Location: Detroit Metro

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 8:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

KathieO wrote:
And if I hear one more parent say they are their child's (not adult child's) "best friend," I think I'll scream! [....] Your children don't need another "friend," but they certainly need a loving "parent" in you.

Children definitely need their parents to parent; that's for sure, Kathie. It's good to be friends with them also, as long as that's not the top goal when they're still young enough for guidance. We all want to be liked by our kids. I think that's natural. But the parent in us needs to make sure we don't neglect that aspect just for the sake of their not "hating" us. It's a tough road sometimes; it probably always has been, especially in these days of less black/white and so much gray.
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 6635
Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tee wrote:
KathieO wrote:
And if I hear one more parent say they are their child's (not adult child's) "best friend," I think I'll scream! [....] Your children don't need another "friend," but they certainly need a loving "parent" in you.

Children definitely need their parents to parent; that's for sure, Kathie. It's good to be friends with them also, as long as that's not the top goal when they're still young enough for guidance. We all want to be liked by our kids. I think that's natural. But the parent in us needs to make sure we don't neglect that aspect just for the sake of their not "hating" us. It's a tough road sometimes; it probably always has been, especially in these days of less black/white and so much gray.




Agree with you Kathie and Tee! Although, my daughter and I have been very close over the years, even when she was very young, I think it has been and is because we are very much alike. We sound the same over the phone, have the same mannerisims (my poor daughter...) and even our handwriting is the same. As for looking alike...not so much. I am 5'3" (on a tall day) and my daughter is 5'6" with long legs. Growing up she always had a close group of friends that supported her in every way. I never wanted to be her friend because that is the part of life you learn how to relate to people in good times and bad. When she was little, she would pick some doozies but found some solid friendships toward middle school. I was there to pick her up and dust her off and I think that made both of us better people.
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