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iluvarake
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 413
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 Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:21 pm Post subject: Will these heroines never learn? |
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Never ogle the hero while he's skinny-dipping. You will always get caught! 
Anyone else have advice for these hapless ladies?
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xina
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 4128
Location: minneapolis
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, yeah...learn to move with stealth. And while you are at it, don't knock over any shelves, pots, or whatever. Don't slam doors and take off your shoes. Tiptoe for god's sake. jeez...men are usually clueless. 
edited to add...I was talking about men in a bath. Outside...simple, do not step on any branches, twigs or scream out in shock...easy. just shut up.
Do not emit a tiny squeak when you spot him naked. He will hear and his gaze will hone on you like a laser. Romance novel heroes can spot the one who squeaks without fail. They will always discover you crouching behind that bush.
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Miss Willard at first refused to get into a lifeboat, and so an exasperated officer said, "Don't waste time-let her go if she won't get in!"
Last edited by xina on Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:55 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Mingqi
Joined: 21 Apr 2007
Posts: 348
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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^great advice! =D
in addition to the above, I would tell the heroines to just not ogle him while he's skinny-dipping. She'll eventually get to ogle him all she wants and even get to have sex with him and his 6-pack - so be patient, ladies! |
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iluvarake
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 413
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:05 pm Post subject: |
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Never determine to tell the hero your big secret tomorrow - because that guarantees that all hell (and secrets) will break loose tonight, most likely in front of a ballroom full of people.
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ladynaava
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 578
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm. Heroine advice:
1. Watch your step! Too often heroines 'trip' while fleeing bad guys or 'tumble' into the arms of their lovers.
2. Don't confuse lust with love. |
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willaful
Joined: 02 Jan 2008
Posts: 664
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| Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:33 pm Post subject: |
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If you don't have a book in your room, just go to sleep. Don't go to the damn library in your nightdress!
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My son, after hearing me make a joke about romance novels: "You're my Big Miss." |
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bijoux
Joined: 30 Jan 2009
Posts: 144
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:51 am Post subject: Re: Will these heroines never learn? |
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| iluvarake wrote: | Never ogle the hero while he's skinny-dipping. You will always get caught!
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This is bad? |
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Elizabeth Rolls
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 598
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:09 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Never ogle the hero while he's skinny-dipping. You will always get caught!
This is bad? |
Not in my book. 
Elizabeth |
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iluvarake
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 413
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:59 am Post subject: |
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| willaful wrote: | | If you don't have a book in your room, just go to sleep. Don't go to the damn library in your nightdress! |
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Elizabeth Rolls
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
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Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:35 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | If you don't have a book in your room, just go to sleep. Don't go to the damn library in your nightdress! |
Oh, I don't know. It adds a bit of class if she's sitting on one of the library ladders reading Ovid's Art of Love. 
Elizabeth |
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xina
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 4128
Location: minneapolis
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:48 am Post subject: |
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Oh, I see how horribly I misunderstood the question! I thought the op was asking about advice for heroines who are viewing naked heroes bathing. LOL....
On that note...I have one. Don't shout and scream in the throes of passion when you have snuck into the dark secluded library during a ball. Someone will hear you. duh! And for goodness sake, don't let him rip your dress and mess up your perfectely coiffed hair. Go back to the party looking like that and the jig will most definitely be up.
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Miss Willard at first refused to get into a lifeboat, and so an exasperated officer said, "Don't waste time-let her go if she won't get in!" |
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iluvarake
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 413
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:52 am Post subject: ! |
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| xina wrote: |
On that note...I have one. Don't shout and scream in the throes of passion when you have snuck into the dark secluded library during a ball. Someone will hear you. duh! And for goodness sake, don't let him rip your dress and mess up your perfectely coiffed hair. Go back to the party looking like that and the jig will most definitely be up. |
I know! Heroes are forever raking their fingers through the ladies' elaborate coiffures. And most of these guys have been around enough to know better!
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dreamweaver
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 148
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:53 am Post subject: |
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| Elizabeth Rolls wrote: | | Quote: | | If you don't have a book in your room, just go to sleep. Don't go to the damn library in your nightdress! |
Oh, I don't know. It adds a bit of class if she's sitting on one of the library ladders reading Ovid's Art of Love.
Elizabeth |
Ok, I'll give it a try. Don't go wandering out to the terrace unchaperoned when you are at a ball. You are bound to run into the biggest rake at the ball, (whom you have been secretly lusting after for years) who will proceed to steal a kiss from you because of your allure and innocence, thus compromising you (since you are standing at a spot on the terrace which can be viewed by the entire ballroom and, particularly, the biggest gossip in attendance) and forcing you into a marriage of convenience. And, so the story begins. |
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iluvarake
Joined: 26 Jan 2009
Posts: 413
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:58 am Post subject: |
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Never tell anyone you're barren or you'll find yourself knocked up (with twins!) by midafternoon.
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dreamweaver
Joined: 21 Jun 2009
Posts: 148
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| Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| iluvarake wrote: | | Never tell anyone you're barren or you'll find yourself knocked up (with twins!) by midafternoon. |
Never turn up your nose at a second son. One never knows what can happen to the heir apparent and you could end up being a Viscountess after all! |
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