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9 things to never say in a book club..
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Linda in sw va



Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 4708

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:11 pm    Post subject: 9 things to never say in a book club.. Reply with quote

Ok so we're not a book club but we are a discussion forum and I could see some truth in these, too funny!

http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/26/living/bad-book-club-talk/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Linda
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Tee



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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Location: Detroit Metro

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was very funny, Linda, and maybe just a bit too close to the truth. Very Happy
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ChrisReader



Joined: 05 Sep 2009
Posts: 742

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL, I'm sure I've seen a number of these statements used, if not just here but all over the web.

I have to say I don't see a big problem with #1- it gets the conversation rolling anyway Wink
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I belong to a wine drinking book club in Real Life. We've probably said all those things, and more. I blame the alcohol. really. Smile
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Nicole



Joined: 23 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was funny. I'm guilty of a lot of those, but probably number 8 the most. Oops...
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ladynaava



Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 938
Location: California

PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know, some of these I wouldn't have an issue at all with someone saying... =-)
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Linda in sw va



Joined: 27 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think number 4 somtimes becomes an issue here!

4. "Oh, I would never put up with a man who did [insert gambling, cheating, etc.] and I think it would take a pretty weak woman to stay with him like the main character did."

Ouch. Making judgments about a relationship in a book can too easily translate to real life.

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Linda
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Eggletina



Joined: 06 Jul 2010
Posts: 441

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Number four jumped out at me too. We all make moral judgments on characters and people in real life based on our values and experiences, but I think when discussing books we should make an effort to be aware that there will be someone in the audience who has either been in the same shoes as the characters we're judging or can relate to them, so it's best to try to phrase our feelings respectfully. Even better, make an effort to try to understand the other view point. In casual discussions people all too often assume their own crowd is in agreement, when probably people disagree with their buddies far more often then they'll publicly admit.

I think the most offended I ever got in an online discussion (not here, and not about a romance novel) was when a poster stated that she would question the intelligence of anyone who liked a certain book. It happened to be one of those much hyped bestsellers that people either loved or hated. I felt fairly neutral about it myself, but was offended for everyone who liked it when she made that comment. It's one thing to privately think such a thought (perhaps we've all been guilty of that a time or two) but to publicly air it is really inconsiderate and not productive for meaningful discussion.
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dick



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Naturally, I don't think stating that I couldn't get past the first chapter is wrong...because I've written it rather often because it often happens.
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Eliza



Joined: 21 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eggletina wrote:
Number four jumped out at me too. We all make moral judgments on characters and people in real life based on our values and experiences, but I think when discussing books we should make an effort to be aware that there will be someone in the audience who has either been in the same shoes as the characters we're judging or can relate to them, so it's best to try to phrase our feelings respectfully. Even better, make an effort to try to understand the other view point. In casual discussions people all too often assume their own crowd is in agreement, when probably people disagree with their buddies far more often then they'll publicly admit.


Me three! along with Linda and Eggletina, about #4.

Thanks, Linda, for posting the link and raising #4, and thanks, Eggletina, for your well articulated, thoughtful post.


Last edited by Eliza on Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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Eliza



Joined: 21 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dick wrote:
Naturally, I don't think stating that I couldn't get past the first chapter is wrong...because I've written it rather often because it often happens.


I don't think anyone saying a book is a DNF for him and leaving it at that is a problem... unless either side goes to great lengths to try to persuade the other the errors of their ways, when personal tastes just differ, period.

What about the book club, though, Dick? Hypothetically, would you skip that meeting? Has that happened to anyone else--being part of a book club with a DNF for you?
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eliza wrote:


What about the book club, though, Dick? Hypothetically, would you skip that meeting? Has that happened to anyone else--being part of a book club with a DNF for you?



Personally, I always finish a book for a book club. Slog through it the best I can. And then state an opinion. **or else just have more wine...LOL**
Seriously, I think someone writing a review should do the same. As for just commenting on a message board about a book. DNF is fine. I just think it's hard to comment after the DNF mark.
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Eggletina



Joined: 06 Jul 2010
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The only time DNF bothers me in a book club scenario is when the person who didn't finish campaigned to get the book nominated. Now, I'm much more understanding if they tried and it just didn't work for them. It can be just as interesting to discuss why a book didn't engage the reader enough to want to continue. But when I tried some online clubs years ago, I'd find people who were nominating books they had read before and would either not join the discussion at all or just pop in with an excuse like, "I don't remember enough now to comment." Boy, does that drive me batty!
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Tee



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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Location: Detroit Metro

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

xina wrote:
As for just commenting on a message board about a book. DNF is fine. I just think it's hard to comment after the DNF mark.

I agree. DNF really says a lot for a reader. They couldn't finish it for whatever reason. They can state that reason, but then that's usually the end of the discussion because the rest of the book remained unread. I DNF a lot these days, too.
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xina



Joined: 22 Mar 2007
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Location: minneapolis

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eggletina wrote:
or just pop in with an excuse like, "I don't remember enough now to comment." Boy, does that drive me batty!



I don't belong to any online bookclubs at the moment, but when I have been a part of one, I remember seeing that excuse quite a bit. I think I did it a time or two myself. *shrug* But never when I pushed to have that book discussed. I would reread...for sure, if that were the case. In a real life book club, that would be annoying. I've never seen that and I've been a part of quite a number of book clubs.
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