Comments on: The Tale of the Friendless Heroine

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By: Laila

Laila — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 03:02:33 +0000

Hi guys.
It seems everyone here hates the idea of a friendless heroine. Perhaps because they cant relate to not having friends esp in this day and age.

However, you would be surprised that friendless heroines do exist in real life perhaps very rarely but they are there. I myself am an example of a completely friendless heroine who has had love stories with very few friends and currently no friends. Although i do have family.

I am not even sure why I am so friendless. Im good looking, even did some advertising, im intelligent, did a masters in biochemistry with distinction. Im not sure if these two factors get in my way of friendship or whether Im just wierd. I do crave for friends and sometimes it feels that theres only 1 person in my world my bf, which is difficult in real life as u do have to bottle up all your anger to urself coz u have no1 to share it with (u cant tell certain things to family members)

However, I do like to hear about FHs because I feel I can relate to them! Unfortunately theres so few people like me out there that FHs are the only thing that makes me feel Im not abnormal.

By: Drop Dead Diva « AAR After Hours

Drop Dead Diva « AAR After Hours — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:21:37 +0000

[...] Abi did some interesting posts last year, connecting this show to heavy heroes and heroines and friendless heroines over at AAR’s News [...]

By: Maria F

Maria F — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:38:24 +0000

Abi,
you have a point that NO friends or friendly family in a contemporary IS a little odd–usually the author needs to work hard to show why for it to be plausible (isolated by abuse, caregiving, constant moving from town to town as a child, dire illness, etc.).
In historicals, I wonder if it is an influence from a Jane Eyre/gothic strain. Part of the triumph of the heroine is that even without the resources of money, family, or friends, she is strong enough in herself to take on the alpha male. (But if not well-written, the situation can devolve into the unhealthy dynamic you mention.)
BTW, the hero in Heyer’s A Civil Contract notices the heroine’s isolation (in her case because she has little family and because her Cit father is trying to push her into aristocratic circles). He compares her with his family, which as aristos are related to half the landed nobles in England–there’s always a cousin or someone to go to (and in fact the heroine comes to rely on some of his female relatives for friendship and advice). It marks a moment of his seeing her as a person in her own right with her own challenges, IIRC.

By: Lynn Spencer

Lynn Spencer — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:10:45 +0000

>>Maybe it’s all the Lifetime I watch..

Ah yes, watching a ton of Lifetime got me through law school. Between that and the Law and Order reruns (which I justified as reinforcing crim law), I had quite the TV habit back then. Still remember some of the movie titles – “15 and Pregnant”, “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” and so on.

By: Abi

Abi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:37:15 +0000

Hey Maria,

I don’t think there’s a quantity minimum or maximum on friends but I do think if an otherwise ‘average’ adult has NO friends or family that acts as friends (and when I say friend, I mean someone that they can, if they so wish, confide in, or go out to lunch with for examples) this person is living a restricted life and I have to wonder why it is that they are so removed from others.

It makes me focus on things other than that person’s romance.

Wrt heroes, I actually read quite a lot of them who are really chummy and go around giving themselves group names – even the tortured ones often have best friends who gently rib them for their torturous…ness.

But I think the same holds true for a friendless hero. How annoying would he be to a heroine looking for a little me-time?!

Thanks for responding everybody!

By: Maria F

Maria F — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:15:53 +0000

How many friends does it take to make a well-rounded person? There are people who seem to do fine with no more than one or two close friends. I sometimes think that characters who can’t get through a day without checking in constantly with a circle of friends may lack basic self-esteem and adult independence (is she really incapable of picking a dress or going to a movie alone?). While the hero shouldn’t be the heroine’s whole world, I think different people are comfortable with or require different numbers of friends and different levels of intimacy with them. That said, I do enjoy reading about good friendships and families (e.g. recent Kleypas). Besides laughs and warm fuzzies, they often provide more character depth for the heroine, as someone mentioned above (and the hero: see Nora Roberts, for example). (BTW, how about heroes? Often the heroine turns out to be the only one they can talk to or have a close relationship with, especially if he’s a Tortured Hero…)

By: Nana

Nana — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:42:48 +0000

Now that I think about it, if I read something on the back cover that told me it was about a female with strong friendships, I would assume that the book wasn’t a romance. If it has a rural or suburban setting, I would assume it was women’s fiction (a la Ya Ya Sisterhood or Fried Green Tomatoes). If it had an urban setting, I’d assume it was chick lit (a la Sex and the City).

Very interesting!

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:22:26 +0000

Just another reason I appreciate Lynsay Sands’ vampire novels. Because her characters DO have family and friends and DO agonize over the potential loss of contact with them. The heroines love their men, but they know that their lives have changed or will change irrevocably.

I think she handles this topic in a very adult (by that I mean grown-up) way. I admire that. (I am one of those readers who can’t turn off my brain/common sense when reading romances.)

By: Vorkosigrrl

Vorkosigrrl — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:28:50 +0000

Kudos for a thoughtful, well-written piece. Not only is the FH disturbing in the ways you describe, but also probably lacking in self-esteem, and therefore ripe for domestic abuse by those overly-aggressive, controlling alphas. Just sayin’.