Earlier this week, while driving to go pick up my ninth graders from school, I found myself with tears pouring down my cheeks and a crack in my heart. I was listening to the incomparable Wynonna sing “Come Some Rainy Day.” It’s a song about losing your true love, but I hear it and think of my children.
“…First time I saw you/I knew I would love you/…When I kissed you/I lost my heart completely/All we wanted/Was just to stay that way…We move on/Put those dreams away/Hoping that we’ll find them/Come some rainy day/How could I know/That everything would change/Except the way I miss you/Come some rainy day.”
I had my first child in 1991 and now he is–across the country–in his second year of college and just took a job that will keep him from home all summer. My next child is a senior in high school—in the fall he will begin that slow process of creating a separate adult life. My youngest two just started high school this year. As I watch the four of them grow up I often think about first the babies and then little boys and girl they once were. When I had my children, it was just like the song said it would be. The first time I saw them, I did know I would love them and the first time I kissed them, I did lose my heart completely.
We do move on, as Wynonna says, and everything does change. For me, each time my children move closer to becoming the independent adults I hope they will be, the transition pulls at my heart and tear ducts. Even as I fall in love again with my changed children, I miss the personas they have now left behind. There’s nothing like parenthood to expose us to the profound joy and profound sadness inherent in truly loving another.
And there’s nothing like country ballads to remind you of both.
– Dabney AAR