Comments on: To bring a gift … or not?

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By: CindyS

CindyS — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 04:50:59 +0000

I’m probably one of the worst people to invite to a home. I don’t bring anything unless hubby says something like ’should we bring wine?’ and I don’t bring chocolate or anything unless I have told them I’m bringing dessert.

Another friend of mine did finally say to me ‘you know you can come to my house without a gift!’ and I thought, ‘okay then, that works’.

I certainly don’t expect anything and am sometimes caught off guard if someone brings flowers because I have to find that vase, are the scissors in the holder?, and now I have cutting all over the kitchen which was already a mess because I’m cooking. Not that I don’t love the thought but for me, it’s about relaxing with people you like to be with.

Again though, if it’s a more formal event I do bring wine – hubby and I don’t really drink so we have bottles all over the place.

If it’s Christmas I would rather bring a small ornament or something like that the hostess doesn’t have to spend too much time over as I know they are busy.

Then there is my other friend who will buy a freshly baked loaf of bread for a dollar and come over where we cut it up, slather butter all over it and gobble it up together

CindyS

By: Missie

Missie — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 02:31:16 +0000

Well, it depends on several things — the specialty/formality of the occasion, the type of gathering, relationship with the host/hostess, etc.

I think, also, with the economy’s rather shaky shape, gift-giving is more reserved, generally, anyway.

For example, we often have family gatherings at my in-laws, and we don’t jump to thinking “hostess gift.” But when my in-laws were hosting an informal family gathering for their 59th wedding anniversary, we brought flowers — ‘though those were, technically, a gift for their anniversary.

Most of our large family gatherings are pot luck, and so the “hostess gift” is the contribution to the meal that we bring — and/or the clean-up in the kitchen afterwards. Other gatherings are informal, with good friends, and once again, a hostess gift doesn’t really feel necessary.

So really, it’s the reason for the occasion and the relationship to the host/hostess that determine whether I feel a gift is called for. For example, with my ex-husband’s family, there would be some family gatherings with family members we didn’t see too often, and we weren’t always included with the pot luck portion, so on those occasions, I would select a plant or flower arrangement or some such.

All that being said, I NEVER expect or anticipate a hostess gift whenever I have guests — I just look forward to hanging out with them!